Post-Release Week Thanks
Plus cat photos, author-written fanfiction, and a tiny lil secret.
Thank You!
This past week was beyond wild. I got to meet so many booksellers and fans, my mom and aunt showed up to my release party with TSTB-themed desserts, and I signed copies of my book all over the place. It was magical, and thank you everyone who bought a copy.
Here are the two photos I have from launch that were taken on my phone:
I got so many photos of TSTB in the wild, and it absolutely delighted me. Here are a few, and keep sending them in 🙏🏻:
Cat Corner
Tory and Bertie are ragdoll siblings, and I am their full time servant. They don’t have many brain cells between them, but they’re the best cats ever. Here is this post’s photographic proof:
Author-Written TSTB Fanfic
CW: graphic sex (Mom and Dad, stop reading here).
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Some of you may have seen the incredible art that Ashe Arends (@spookgeist) did of Alexey and Dimitri in happier times, before the events of THE SINS ON THEIR BONES. Here’s the uncensored version (Mom and Dad, if you’re still reading, close your eyes):
Well, if you want to know the story behind this scene, here it is (Mom and Dad I’m really serious, don’t).
The estate was quiet at night, far quieter than the palace at Rav-Mikhailburg. Dimitri could hear the crickets chirping outside, the warm summer air drifting in through the open window, bringing with it the heady scent of lavender and honeysuckle. He leaned his forearms on the windowsill, taking in the breeze, letting his eyes close and his head fall back.
He never thought that agreeing to go on a tour of the southern regions would end up like this, a string of sultry glances and bitten lips, gentle caresses when no one was looking, fingers brushing against each other under a night-darkened sky. Being pinned to a rough stone wall in the garden by the muscular body of Lord Alexey Balakin when his parents weren’t looking, Alexey whispering in his ear what if you stayed here, with me. Warm breath ghosting the back of his neck, a strong hand tracing a tantalizing, if completely chaste, line down his arm.
A shiver ran through Dimitri’s body, heat building in his core at the memory. He had hoped that first night, when his parents left to return to the capital, that Alexey would finally let himself loose. Dimitri had been saving himself for the right man, at the right time, and now twenty long years of chastity were finally paying off.
Or so he’d hoped.
That first night, he’d been a tightly-wound ball of nerves and desire, trembling from want and from anxiety about what satisfying that want would entail. He’d heard talk, but he’d never done anything. But he had steeled himself for whatever would come next because every time he looked at his husband-to-be, it felt like being engulfed in flames.
Dimitri wanted.
And then Alexey had come in, called him a common prostitute, and ejected him from the bedchamber. Dimitri hadn’t been able to stop the confused, angry tears from falling as he made his humiliated way back to his own bedchamber. A kind maid consoled him and drew him a soothing bath scented with lavender and honey, and he’d chain-smoked three packs of cigarettes until the water ran cold and he had to get out.
At first, he’d thought that Alexey didn’t desire him. That he was disgusted by something about Dimitri, and this would be a chaste marriage. But the next night at dinner, Alexey had insisted that no, that wasn’t the case, and also he’d sprung a raging erection that even napkins couldn’t hide when Dimitri did his best to eat caviar in a seductive manner.
So, Dimitri realized, it would just take time.
He did his best to flirt, to draw Alexey in, to make Alexey want the same way that Dimitri himself wanted. He wore breeches two sizes too small on a hunt, made scandalous comments just to see their effect on Alexey, and finally they had almost kissed in the stables.
It was merely taking time.
And now, now Alexey seemed ready. The ball had been the breaking point, and even though Alexey had refused him one more time, Dimitri could practically see the threads of his self-control snap, whatever sense of uptight decorum Alexey was clinging to falling away. And Dimitri was so far gone that he hoped he’d last more than three heartbeats before coming so hard he’d faint. He’d taken himself in hand every night, multiple times, and yet it hadn’t worked the edge off his desire to have Alexey’s hands on him.
Or to have Alexey in him. Because Dimitri knew that that was what he wanted, to be small under his husband-to-be, to be taken and stretched and pushed to his limit so that he could bring Alexey pleasure.
This, he hoped, was the night.
He’d wheedled his way back into Alexey’s bedchamber, even though the steward protested that Lord Balakin had expressly forbidden it. And now, with each beat of his heart, he hoped he’d hear the creaking of the floorboards, a knock at the door.
He hadn’t missed the wicked gleam in Alexey’s eye that afternoon, when the door had shut behind the nobles’ retreating backs. And he didn’t think he’d misread the intention behind that gaze.
They had dined together, trading glances across the long table, the tension building with each glass of wine. Dimitri had been shaking with pent-up desire, and Alexey ordered caviar served again. Dimitri knew what to do, eating it off the back of his hand. He caught sight of Alexey from under the fringe of his lashes as he did so. The older man’s mouth was parted, his cheeks flushed and his eyes heated.
By the time dessert had been served, Dimitri was very nearly panting with need. But Alexey had just stood and smirked when Dimitri’s eyes slid down to the obvious bulge in his breeches, then commanded him to retire for the night.
Dimitri had never bathed and dressed for sleep quicker.
And now he was waiting and praying that Alexey didn’t kick him out when he found him, here, in his bedchamber. Dimitri needed to work the edge off of this insatiable need. The silk of his nightshirt whispered against the curve of his ass, and he wished that it wasn’t fabric but Alexey’s hand.
He was about to concede to his untamable arousal and finish himself off when the knock finally came.
Dimitri did not turn, but kept looking out the window. This delicate dance of flirtation had finally paid off, and he could sense the way it drove the other man mad.
“So this is what you want.” Alexey’s voice was smooth and deep, striking a chord in Dimitri’s chest, a pang of desire that went right to the core of him.
Dimitri traced a finger along the windowsill, letting his nightshirt shift off of one shoulder. He knew part of his allure lay in his delicate form, and that for a man like Alexey Balakin, an uncovered shoulder could be as tantalizing as a nude body.
Seducing Alexey was a game, Dimitri had realized over the last week. A push and a pull, touching and being touched and then pulling away, toying with Alexey’s clear need for control. Resisting him, and then submitting.
“You’ve finally realized.” Dimitri smirked, then turned. “You said you had never tamed a colt. I’m yours, then, to master. Break me for the saddle, Alexey.”
Alexey laughed darkly. “And you consent to that, then, to me breaking you?” His black nightshirt glimmered in the light of the candles, flickering in their sconces. “You do realize what that entails, correct?”
Dimitri licked his lips and tried to breathe through the overwhelming rush of arousal that went through him. “I do.”
“Good,” Alexey purred, prowling forward to grab Dimitri’s face in his hands. “Because I have been driven wild this week, and for once I cannot control my baser urges. Something about you, Dima, it drives me feral.”
And then Alexey kissed him, his lips warm on Dimitri’s, his tongue claiming Dimitri’s mouth, the stiffness of his length pressing up against Dimitri’s and making them both moan.
Dimitri had never been kissed before. If he thought that this was what it would feel like, he wouldn’t have spent so many nights in his room at the palace, with only his hand for company. But perhaps it only felt this way because of the magnetism of the man holding him, the way he drew Dimitri in, the bond that had grown between them over the last week, the way he had come to know Alexey and feel for him, something far beyond simple desire.
Maybe this was why no handsome stable boy or beautiful serving girl had ever tempted Dimitri, had never inspired him to ask them to bed. Maybe his body and his heart had been waiting for Alexey Balakin, all this time.
Alexey broke off the kiss, running his hands down Dimitri’s shoulders and back, cupping his ass. He squeezed, fingers digging into muscle, and Dimitri canted his hips forward with a whine. Alexey shifted his hand so that his fingers slid into the cleft of Dimitri’s ass, tracing their way down to his entrance, Alexey’s thumbnail pressing in ever so slightly in a way that made Dimitri gasp.
“You know,” Alexey whispered into his ear, “you’ll have to take far, far more than that to ride me, Dimitri Abramovich.”
“Oh my god,” was all Dimitri could sputter out. He was so hard now with Alexey’s finger tracing his entrance through the barrier of his silk nightshirt, just barely nudging in, that he was dizzy.
“Alas, I am not God,” Alexey chuckled. “But I will certainly do my best.”
Alexey relinquished his hold on Dimitri’s ass and steered him to the bed, pushing him down onto the slick silk of the blanket. Dimitri’s heart hammered as Alexey traced his fingers down Dimitri’s chest and grabbed the hem of his nightshirt to pull it up and off of Dimitri, inch by agonizing inch. The cool night air hit Dimitri’s skin, and when Alexey ghosted a finger down Dimitri’s hot, hard length, he nearly bucked up off the bed, panting. He whined again, his hips following Alexey’s retreating fingers, desperate for more.
“Beautiful,” Alexey breathed as he looked at Dimitri with eyes full of desire. “You are so beautiful.”
Dimitri’s teeth started to chatter as Alexey sank down at the edge of the bed, grasping Dimitri’s thighs and shoving them apart. Alexey licked the length of Dimitri’s cock, and Dimitri gasped and sat bolt upright at the fire that rushed through him.
Alexey looked up at him and chuckled, then brushed back the hair that had fallen into Dimitri’s eyes. “All of it, then?” He blew a stream of air onto Dimitri’s cock, slick with Alexey’s saliva, and the sudden coolness made Dimitri’s toes curl. “All of it is new?”
Dimitri panted, too eager to have Alexey’s mouth back on him to be embarrassed. “Yes.” His fingers curled into the silken covering on the bed. “It is.”
Alexey paused, trailing a finger down Dimitri’s length, then further, returning his finger to Dimitri’s hole, a part of his body that Dimitri himself had never even explored. Dimitri tried to stifle his moan, but it slipped out unbidden.
“Every last bit of it, then?” Alexey raised an eyebrow. “You truly are a colt that has never even been handled by another?”
“All of it,” Dimitri replied. And then he looked Alexey in the eye and stooped to begging. “Please, don’t stop.”
A firm hand on his chest, pushing him back down onto the bed, a hand twining with his as he was enveloped in slick heat, Alexey’s tongue flicking at his tip before he swallowed him whole. Alexey’s finger, slick with oil now, worked into him, and then he touched something inside Dimitri that had him coming harder than he had in his life, his muscles spasming and his vision whiting out. When he blinked enough that he could see again, when his heart slowed from its furious gallop, Dimitri raised himself up on his forearms and looked at Alexey, who was smirking at him.
“We’re going to have such fun, you and I,” Alexey purred. He stood, and pulled his own nightshirt off, revealing such a perfect body that Dimitri’s mouth started to water. He crawled on top of Dimitri, covering Dimitri’s body with the heat of his own. He pushed Dimitri back and placed a pillow under his head, then raised himself up to kneeling.
“If I’m to be your future husband,” Alexey said, trailing a hand down Dimitri’s body, teasing at his spent cock, “if I’m to be the one who breaks you for the saddle, I must have all of you. It’s what you’re asking for, is it not? Me, inside you? Me, stretching you open, claiming what no other man has ever claimed before? Showing you how it feels to have another man’s cock inside of you, splitting you in half, making you take all of it so I can pound into that perfect ass of yours…”
Alexey kept talking, the words falling from his lips growing increasingly filthy in a way that so contrasted with his perfectly buttoned-up demeanor that Dimitri was already growing stiff again. Dimitri was sure that Alexey could see him trembling, shivering like he was standing outside in the cold. Alexey reached over to the side of the bed, grasping a bottle of oil. He dipped the fingers of one hand into it, and then threaded the other hand through Dimitri’s hair, pinning his head to the pillow. “I’ll be gentle,” Alexey said with a smirk. “For now.”
Dimitri’s eyes closed involuntarily as Alexey worked fingers into him, more than one now, stretching him open, and he both fought and relished the searing burn. “Look at me,” Alexey commanded, and so Dimitri did, opening his eyes. “Relax,” Alexey commanded, and so Dimitri did, his body obeying the order without thought.
“Good boy,” Alexey purred, and continued his work, finger by finger, until he reached four and tears sprung to Dimitri’s eyes. He was fully hard again, even though he couldn’t help but try to pull away from Alexey’s intrusion, something animalistic inside of him insisting that this violation was too much. Sweat sprung across his skin, and Alexey tutted and grabbed Dimitri’s hip with his free hand, pressing him down into the mattress. “Don’t you move. Relax, and take it. I’m far larger than this.”
Alexey kept going for an eternity, working his fingers in and out, spreading them to stretch Dimitri wide, Dimitri whimpering every time Alexey’s knuckles slipped past the tight ring of Dimitri’s muscle. His legs were shaking, and his hands fisted into the blanket, scrabbling for purchase.
And then Alexey withdrew his hand and Dimitri whined at the loss, his body grasping for something to fill it that was no longer there. Alexey lifted Dimitri’s leg up over his shoulder and slicked himself up with oil. Dimitri braced himself, but Alexey paused.
“You will need to breathe,” he said gently. “It will hurt, at first. Tell me if it becomes too much. After a few moments, I promise, it will feel better.”
Dimitri’s breath caught in his throat as he nodded, tensing up. Alexey was huge, his cock glistening in the firelight, the girth and length of it both impressive and terrifying. Dimitri suddenly had no idea how he was supposed to take all of Alexey in—surely, it would be too much. Surely, he would split open…
Alexey placed his hands on Dimitri’s hips, guiding himself forward, and the head of him nudged against Dimitri’s entrance. Dimitri clenched, unable to stop himself, another whimper breaking free as he closed his eyes, bracing for the pain.
“Shh,” Alexey whispered as he pressed forward minutely. “Don’t fight it. You belong to me. All of you. Be a good boy, now. Breathe, Dimitri. Breathe for me, Dima.”
Dimitri did, and Alexey pressed forward even further, the head of his cock breeching Dimitri in a sudden wash of hot, sharp pain.
“You are so beautiful,” Alexey whispered in his ear, leaning down so that his body was covering Dimitri’s, brushing a hand soothingly through his hair. “You are doing so well, my perfect, darling boy.”
He pushed into Dimitri’s body, inch by agonizing inch, until Dimitri was sure he could take no more, but Alexey just waited, his hips perfectly still, until Dimitri relaxed around him.
Dimitri was moaning at the pleasure and the pain—because around the sharp edges of being stretched wide, Alexey was brushing up against something that was sending bolts of arousal through Dimitri, reawakening his cock which had gone soft when Alexey had pushed into him.
“That’s all,” Alexey whispered as he seated himself fully in Dimitri’s body. “That’s all you must take, Dima. You’re doing so well. Breathe, now.”
Dimitri gasped, and drew in a shuddering breath, and did his best to relax around Alexey’s girth which was splitting him open. Alexey kissed the corner of his mouth and brushed away the tears leaking from Dimitri’s eyes with the pad of his thumb, and murmured encouragement to him until finally, his body stopped fighting.
“Good boy,” Alexey said again, finally withdrawing and thrusting back into Dimitri’s body. “I am so pleased with you, Dima, my darling.”
Dimitri’s heart warmed at the endearment, and he tilted his hips up to meet Alexey’s next thrust. Alexey’s cock hit that same miraculous part of him, and suddenly the pain was gone and all that was left was the searing need for more. Dimitri’s fingers scrabbled at Alexey’s biceps, his legs curling around his waist, desperate for the feeling to return.
Alexey chuckled. “Let no one say I do not worship my intended in the bedroom.” Alexey thrust harder into Dimitri, increasing the pace of his hips, setting a punishing rhythm that brought stars into Dimitri’s vision. When he felt Alexey spill his seed inside of him, Dimitri came again, harder than he thought possible.
Alexey withdrew from his body, and Dimitri mourned the loss. He pouted, and Alexey laughed and caressed Dimitri’s face. “My love, I will not be able to resist you. A week’s worth of waiting was almost more than I can bear. Don’t be upset. You will have me any night you want me, now. I will not be able to say no.” He got up from bed and returned from the washroom moments later with a damp cloth, and cleaned Dimitri while whispering to him of how beautiful he was, how he had stolen Alexey’s heart.
Dimitri had never known love like this, total and overwhelming. He had never known desire like this was possible, consuming all that he was. When Alexey extinguished the candles and came back to bed, Dimitri could have cried with pleasure at being pulled into Alexey’s chest, having his head kissed, his hair smoothed back.
“I promise you,” Alexey whispered into his ear, cradling Dimitri close, “that I will bring you joy all of your days. That I will protect you with everything that I am. That I will defend you from anything that wishes to harm you, Dimitri Abramovich. Because you are mine, and I am yours. And yes, I will fuck you any time you would like. I no longer care what Chernitzy thinks. We are one, body and soul.”
Dimitri couldn’t speak past the lump of emotion in his throat, just nodded and buried his head further into Alexey’s chest and listened to the steady thump of his heartbeat.
And he laid there, in the dark, encircled in the arms of his future husband, thanking the Lord for blessing him with happiness he never thought he’d have.
Secrets (of Heaven)
If you’ve read this far, here’s this post’s secret:
I got another book deal last week, and this one is so fun. It’s very different than TSTB in some ways, and I can’t wait to share more.
Shhh! 🤫